Life’s a Comedy: 11 Funniest Jokes About Bars, Jobs, and Quirky Animals
Have you ever had a long day and needed a little boost? The best remedy for boredom and stress is laughter. There will be plenty of amusement in this compilation of eleven jokes.
Prepare to laugh out loud as you read these amusing jokes about everything from foolish farmers to bar pals. Whether you enjoy humorous wordplay or unusual animal antics, this site has something to make everyone laugh.
Take a Drink
A man orders two shots as he enters a pub. After consuming both, he departs. For a while, he does the same thing every day.
The bartender inquires, “Why do you always order two shots?” one day.
“My brother and I used to drink all the time, but he lives far away now,” the man replies. I’ll take one shot for myself, and he’ll take another.
After some time passes, the man finally orders just one shot.
Concerned, the bartender inquires, “What happened? Is your sibling doing well?
“Yes, he’s fine,” the man responds. I simply stopped drinking.
The Parade of Penguins
A semi-truck driver was pulled over by a police officer who requested his license and registration. The officer decided to check the trailer after hearing strange noises coming from it. Inside, he discovered fifty penguins.
The police questioned, “Why are there fifty penguins in your truck?”
“They’re my buddies,” said the driver. “We enjoy traveling together.”
The officer remarked, “You can’t just own 50 penguins,” “You need to take them to the zoo.”
After agreeing, the driver took off. When the same officer pulled over the same truck the following day, he heard the same odd sounds. He discovered the same 50 penguins in the trailer.
The officer said, “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” instead.
“I did!” said the driver. “They enjoyed themselves greatly. We’re heading to the beach today.”
The plasterer
A duck requested for a beer and a ham sandwich as it waddled into a pub.
As he gazed, the bartender remarked, “Wait a minute! You’re a duck.
“That’s pretty obvious,” said the duck.
“And you talk!” the bartender yelled.
“And you hear well!” exclaimed the duck. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
The bartender said, “Oh, right, sorry,” as he poured the beer for the duck. “Ducks are scarce in this area. Why have you come in?”
The duck clarified, “I work at that construction site over there.” “I’m a plasterer.”
When he took out a newspaper to read, the bartender was taken aback but let it go.
After finishing his meal and reading the paper, the duck departed. For two weeks, he did this every day.
Then the circus arrived in the city. The bartender asked, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right?,” as the manager of the circus entered the tavern. In your show, a duck I know would be a celebrity! He reads the paper, eats sandwiches, talks, and drinks beer. He’s incredible.
The manager of the circus handed his card to the bartender and said, “Is that right?” “Tell him to give me a call.”
When the duck arrived the following day, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
The duck remarked, “I’m always interested in new opportunities,” “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” replied the bartender.
“The circus?” inquired the duck.
“Yep,” the bartender replied.
“The circus?” The duck repeated the question. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” the bartender exclaimed.
The duck questioned, “With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?”
“That’s the one,” the bartender was saying.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” inquired the duck.
“That’s right!” the bartender exclaimed.
“Why would they need a plasterer?” asked the duck, shaking his head.
Centipede Slowpoke
At a pet shop, a man noticed a sign that read, “Talking Centipede $100.” He purchased it because he found it cool. He asked the centipede if it wanted to get a beer when he opened the package when he came home. The man believed he had been taken advantage of since the centipede remained silent.
He tried again after some time. “Want to go get a beer?” he yelled. When it emerged from the box, the centipede exclaimed, “Silence! When I first heard you! I am putting on my sneakers.
The Handyman from Hell
An engineer goes to Hell after dying.
Because engineers don’t typically travel there, the devil was taken aback. Everything was broken, the pool was empty, and the air conditioner was broken.
The engineer started making repairs. He filled the pool, replaced the air conditioner, and even improved the roads.
God noticed that everyone in Hell was enjoying themselves, which was wrong. What the devil was happening, he asked?
“That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything,” the devil answered. Hell is a pleasant place because of him.
“What?” God asked. Hell isn’t the place for engineers! It was an error. Return him so I can place him in Heaven.
“No way,” answered the demon, “we like him here.”
“Send him back, or I’ll sue you!” declared God.
“Where are you going to find a lawyer?” the devil asked, laughing.
The Big-Time Lawyer
The Major Joe, a lawyer, left his tiny village to attend law school and college. He wanted to be well-known in his hometown, so he returned there after becoming a lawyer.
When he first opened his own office, nobody showed up. He once noticed a man approaching his workplace. Joe claimed to be on the phone in an attempt to impress this man.
Joe began talking loudly on the phone as soon as the man entered, shouting things like, “No way! I want $1 million, tell those guys in New York! Next week, I’m heading to court! I have the best team! We will definitely prevail! Yes, the judge is already aware of my correctness! No, we won’t back down, regardless of what they have to give.
While the man waited, he spoke in this manner for a long time. “I apologize for taking so long; I’m really busy,” Joe remarked to the man as he ended the call. How may I help you?
To which the man said, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
The Chick Magnet
A man from the city decided to try farming after relocating to the rural. There, he remarked, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.” He proceeded to the farm store.
He got the girls from the store employee.
The man returned a week later and declared, “This time, I need 200 baby chicks.” He got the chicks from the laborer.
After another week, the man came back. His words were, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
The employee exclaimed, “Wow, you must be doing great!”
“Nope,” murmured the man. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
Bachelors
Two unmarried men struck into a conversation about cooking.
The first man said, “I received a cookbook last year, but I was unable to use it to make anything.”
“Was it too hard?” inquired the second man.
“Yes! ‘Get a clean plate and…’ was the beginning of every recipe.
Is That a Copy?
The office shredder baffled a new employee.
One of the neighboring secretaries said, “Want some help?”
“Yes,” he replied, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she said, taking his lengthy report and using the shredder at the same time.
“Thanks,” he grinned, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Whoa, Amen!
In the desert, a man became lost. He eventually came upon a modest home after weeks of roaming. He crawled to the home and passed out since he was weak and exhausted.
He was discovered and assisted in his recovery by the house’s benevolent and devout owner. The man inquired for directions to the closest town once he felt better.
He spotted a horse on his way out. He inquired if he may borrow it from the owner. The owner concurred but added, “In order to get the horse to move, say ‘Thank God.’” Say ‘Amen,’ to halt it.”
With little attention, the man answered, “Okay, sure.” “Thank God,” he exclaimed as he mounted the horse, and the animal began to walk. “Thank God, thank God,” he exclaimed, and the horse began to speed. The man said, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” with courage, and the horse continued to move even more quickly.
He suddenly noticed a cliff up ahead. He screamed, “Whoa, stop!” in an attempt to stop the horse. “Amen!” he recalled then.
At the very edge of the precipice, the horse came to a stop. After inhaling deeply, the man exclaimed, “Thank God.”
Crazy Natter
A man entered a tavern and placed an order for a beer. He heard someone comment, “Nice tie!” while he was drinking. He glanced around, but the only people present were him and the bartender. “I like your shirt!” the speaker then stated. The man summoned the bartender over, confused.
He questioned, “Am I losing it?” “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the barman replied.
“What?” inquired the man.
“The peanuts,” repeated the bartender. “They’re complimentary.”
