Three restrooms
Three men went to the closest store to look at the latest toilet designs since they wanted to purchase toilets.
The salesperson sells the first man a wooden toilet when he requests one that would fit well in his log cabin in the woods.
The salesman offers the second man an ice toilet when he asks for one that would be suitable for an igloo.
The salesperson offers the third man a singing toilet with a picture of the Canadian flag on the tank after he requests the best toilet they have for the staff lavatory at the National History of Canada Museums.
They all received what they requested, though.
All three men return the following day with their toilets.
“This toilet sucks,” the first man remarks. Every time I attempt to use it, wood fragments become lodged in my buttocks.
“This toilet sucks,” the second man remarks. My butt always freezes to the seat when I try to use it, so I have to use a hairdryerto get it off.
“This toilet is too patriotic,” the third man remarks. I have to get up every time I sit down to use the loo because it plays ‘O Canada’.
Tiger Woods pulls up to a petrol station in the middle of the Irish countryside in his BMW while playing golf in Ireland.
The attendant gives Tiger a hearty Irish greeting despite not knowing who he is.
“Good morning to you, sir,” the attendant says. With a courteous nod, Tiger grabs the petrol nozzle. Two golf tees fall out of his pocket and onto the floor as he does this.
“What are those?” the attendant wonders, looking down in confusion.
Tiger responds, “They’re tees.”
“Well,” the Irishman responds, obviously perplexed, “what in God’s name are they for?”
Tiger smiles and says, “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving.”
The Irishman’s eyes enlarge in shock. He exclaims, “Fookin’ Jaysus, BMW considers everything!”
