Am I Wrong for Embarrassing My Ex-husband in Front of His Family?

An individual who uses Reddit revealed that her family is fractured as a result of revelations that occurred during a get-together. The consequences are attributed to her by her ex-husband.

Quite recently, a member on Reddit who is a woman and is 49 years old presented a story that has captured the attention of many people. When she first started telling her narrative, she began by describing the dynamics of her family, mentioning that her family life has been damaged by treachery and estrangement.

An individual named Jake, who is now 53 years old, was the former spouse of the Original Poster (OP), who is a mother of three children. Kyle, who is now 18 years old, and Karter, who is 21 years old, and Knox, who is 25 years old, were all born to the ex-couple. The situation became problematic when OP was expecting their third kid together as a couple.
The affair that Jake had with his considerably younger assistant, Abigail, who was a college freshman at the time and was 18 years old, caused their marriage to fall apart immediately. The affair resulted in a pregnancy, which finally led to OP’s decision to not reconcile with the other person.

Later on, Abigail gave birth to a girl who was given the name Lizzie. As a consequence of this, OP’s choice to divorce the father of her children made it possible for Abigail and Jake to get married and have two additional children, which further complicated the structure of the family.

OP describes how Jake’s involvement in their children’s lives after the divorce was limited, with him providing child support and making sporadic visits, but he rarely engaged in meaningful ways with them.

“He paid child support but that was it and only [saw] them once a month,” according to her. In the event that one of the children made a request to him, he would grant it; however, he would not answer their calls until he became aware that their mother had intervened.
Pexels is the source of this image of a man seated at a table and gazing at his phone.

This disengagement developed to the point where he missed important moments in the lives of the children, and he would only show up for times when the presence of his own family required him to be there.

Jake appeared to be motivated by the approbation of his mother and aunts, all of whom are important lawyers and hold a great deal of influence in their respective fields. The OP disclosed:

“His family is not exactly the most refined. Those who are not in a position of prominence will look down on those who are not in prominent positions. They will rage at you for making the family look bad, and they will consider any type of gossip to be negative.

The hypocrisy of Jake’s activities was brought to light when OP disclosed that he boasted to his family about his involvement in the lives of their children, despite the fact that the reality was far different.

The reality was revealed when an unintentional invitation to a family holiday was extended, which allowed this facade to be maintained. OP revealed that her children were first distressed since they saw their father go on family vacations without them. This was a painful experience for them.

However, as time went on, they learned to disregard it after Jake explained to them that it was due to the fact that their mother took them on two family vacations each year, whereas their half-sister Lizzie only goes on one vacation.

OP revealed that he explained to his family that the reason for this was that the elder children did not want to go. At the same time, Kyle inquired about the topic of conversation that Lizzie was having with her great-aunts about an upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic. This took place during the Christmas meal that the family was having.

In addition to stating that they were going away, Lizzie mentioned that their father had informed her that Kyle and her brothers had already made preparations. On the other hand, Kyle stated that this was not the case and that she, along with her two elder siblings, would be delighted to accompany her.

The OP mentioned that she has never been at ease with the idea of Jake going away with the children to a distant location without her. As a result, she went along with them on their vacation, which caused his wife Abigail to feel dissatisfied. OP and her in-laws continue to have a positive relationship, which is why the situation did not feel weird.

As a result, conversations on the children’s accomplishments and their plans for the future emerged at supper. She informed her paternal grandma that she had been offered an internship at a technology company, and everyone expressed their best wishes for her. OP’s daughter made the announcement.

As their older brother Knox is attending medical school, Kyle and her brother Karter are both students at an institution that is considered to be among the most renowned there is. The revelation that Lizzie was pregnant was made inadvertently as a result of the conversation, which shocked everyone who was present.

The individual who made the revelation stated that “everyone’s face fell to the floor, including Jake’s,” and that their loved ones began to question Jake and Abigail’s parenting abilities. When Jake was confronted with the dissatisfaction of his family, he made an attempt to shift the blame onto Lizzie.

The fact that his children have been successful up to this point is more evidence that his parenting skills were visible with his children from his first marriage. On the other hand, OP, who was sick of the continued deception, provided clarification on the matter.

“I was tired of the lies and explained how he was never there unless his family was there in order to look good in front of them,” recalled the woman. Kyle, OP’s daughter, was driven to face her father’s neglect in an open manner as a result of the admission, which resulted in her leaving the dinner in an emotional state.

Jake’s reaction to the events that transpired that evening was to accuse OP of causing conflict within the family and to blame her for destroying his connections with his family members. In spite of the accusation, OP chose not to engage further, which resulted in the problem not being addressed but being acknowledged through public statements.

She went to the Reddit forum and admitted that she had a different opinion over the way in which she handled the problem at the family gathering. She wrote, “I do feel bad because it probably wasn’t the time or place.”

Was it inappropriate for OP to humiliate her ex-husband in front of his members of the family? What actions would you have taken if you had been in the same situation as OP?

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