You don’t really realize how much abuse you are receiving when in a relationship with a toxic person because you are too busy dealing with the relationship itself. You are aware that what you are going through is undesirable. But you’re not truly aware of how awful things are or how much the abuse affects your wellbeing. You don’t really realize that you are a victim while you are with a poisonous guy. And for many abuse victims, leaving toxic relationships is quite difficult. You’re not really sure what’s going on.
However, eventually something inside of you (or perhaps a friend or loved one) steps in and stops everything. You muster the fortitude and bravery necessary to leave that toxic environment, and that’s when the anguish really hits.
You then have the opportunity to reflect and understand how unfairly you were treated. However, you also sort of miss it. That was the world you lived in and the only kind of life you knew for the longest time. And facing this new, lonely world is frightening for you. Despite knowing how toxic it was, you are tempted to return to the familiar. And the reason behind it all is because you’re afraid of what’s coming up.
Then you find yourself in a similar circumstance again, but this time it’s with a great guy. Even while everything seems similar, the scenario is quite different. This man is a lovely guy, and he treats people nicely. And you’re taken by surprise. You truly aren’t used to his treatment of you, yet you appreciate it so much that it scares you.
1. The best happens when you least expect it.
He’s always going to be like the person you used to date, you always think. You should prepare yourselves. Make sure you don’t experience the same kind of abuse. But he consistently manages to disappoint your low expectations.
2. You interpret everything that happens so heavily.
You realize that this might be an entirely new universe to you and that this creature might be rather different. Because you’re afraid, you strive to make the most sense of every small detail. You’ll consider too many details of the relationship.
3. You believe he is too good to be true.
You’ll start to think that he could be too good to be true. Such a good guy is unimaginable. Since you have never had such loving and caring treatment, you are aware that it may not be possible to continue this behavior.
4. You slightly push him away.
He seems to be acting shadily, in your opinion. You’re sick of getting hurt and don’t really want to fall for anyone’s trickery any longer. So you slightly push him away. He shouldn’t get too close, please. But he continues to arrive.
5. You anticipate so many altercations and clashes.
You just prepare yourself for a lot of arguments and conflicts. You anticipate that he would criticize your characteristics and try to make you feel awful about things. You expect him to come out swinging about a possible error you made, but he doesn’t.
6. You make way too many excuses.
You then say you’re sorry. Since your prior relationship left you feeling unworthy and unable to do anything properly, you believe that you are making mistakes.
7. You’ll begin to feel that he’s far too good for you, but he still treats you wonderfully. He continues to show you a ton of love and affection. You feel as though you don’t deserve his genuine caring for you. You feel that he is too far out there, and you should do more to help him.
8. You attempt to make up for it.
So you attempt to overcompensate. You make an effort to show him the same amount of love and affection. You try to get close to him on his terms.
9. You come to believe in him.
Finally, you accomplish something with another guy that you never imagined you would be able to do. You believe him. You accept his word. You are confident that he is the real deal and that you have nothing to fear.
10. You understand what it’s like to truly fall in love.
And if you’re fortunate enough to get along with this guy, you’ll learn more about what it actually means to fall in love.
